Life Has A Reset Button And I Hit It Hard… Again

The video for this post can be found HERE

I was born and raised in North Carolina, with a plastic spoon in my mouth… While my family was loving, caring and always provided for me, there was no silver spoon in my world.  I followed directions and did what everyone is told that they should do if they want a more profitable life… I focused on school.  I went to college and got a bachelors degree in political science.  I was qualified to work in a grocery store.  I stayed in college and got a second bachelors degree in Philosophy with an emphasis in metaphysics and logic.  I was then qualified to bag groceries and ask why.  I was working as a bartender at an awesome tiki bar in Carolina Beach, North Carolina but at the age of 23, I had hit my salary cap and I wanted more out of life.  I wanted power and money… things I never had. To say the least…. I was misguided and left wanting.

I had long promised one of my best friends that I would move with him to California, so we did. I loaded my motorcycle into my truck, saved up money for 6 months and we set off to the land of endless sunshine. I was either going to bar-tend or I was going to go to law school. My criteria for law school was…. Is it in San Diego?  I applied to all of the law schools there and I got into one of them.  I then spent the next four grueling years in a library for 15 hours a day when I was not waiting tables and bar tending. I trudged my way through law school and the California bar exam.  It was non stop work. It was a complete sacrifice of my once thriving social life and all of my spare time. It consumed me. It hurt my health because there was no time for the gym.   It was the second darkest time in my life.  It was miserable. I was miserable…. It had to get better right?  Wrong….

I graduated law school at the same time the housing crisis was in full swing and the world had just entered the great recession.  There were no jobs to be found anywhere and there was very little opportunity for a brand new lawyer, especially in San Diego, where it is saturated with attorneys.  With no professional job prospects, I kept my part time jobs waiting tables and bar tending, while launching my own law firm.  This was especially difficult as I had almost $300,000.00 in student loans with the interest constantly racking up.

Working from my bedroom, I started the firm with my last $186.00.  I used it to buy cheap business cards which i handed out to everyone I could on a daily basis. I worked in law, waited tables and bar tended, seven days a week, for ten hours a day, for 2 years. Eventually I built the business up enough to get a real office, upgrade the office a few times, bring in a partner and I hire employees. In addition, I met a girl, got engaged and then got married.

For close to a decade I worked as a trial attorney in San Diego. I conducted trials for criminal defendants mostly but I also tried cases for medical malpractice, personal injury, family law and unlawful detainer.  The vast majority of the people I represented were good people who simply had done a bad thing or were in the wrong place at the wrong time and made the wrong decision. Some were not….  I was helping people but in some cases I was helping a bad person put more evil into the world. That “albatross” hangs heavy on your neck over time. That weight became unbearable.

While the money was good, my life was not. I was working 8-12 hour days. I wasn’t sleeping at night. I was drinking too much. I was not working out enough.  My mother passed away. My marriage was falling apart and I had only paid part of my interest on those student loans, none of the principle.  Then one of my best friends Scott got sick….  very sick…. 22 cancerous tumors in his brain sick.

Over the course of a year or two… (to be honest that whole period of time really blurs together for me).  I got a divorce, moved out of my house and then watched my friend slowly decay in front of me. I witnessed his body shrivel and his mind transform into someone I didn’t recognize. At his request I took power of attorney over him, drafted his last will and testament and his end of life directive. I also gave the eulogy at his funeral. I was by his side through his entire journey to death up until his last moments.

On his death bed the only thing he wanted to do was help other people. He wanted to create a non profit that organized hot rod and motorcycle shows for the benefit of the Shriner’s Hospitals for Children.  Before Scott died, he gifted me his prized possession… His motorcycle.  The very same one I used to ride across the continent and is now my sole prized possession.  He kept telling me to live life to be happy and to keep helping people but I was not happy. I was miserable.

The life I had created had been shattered all around me.  I wanted to die and I was ready to go. I honestly thought of killing myself. I however am not a coward. I could not do that to my friends and family.  It was too selfish even though it was what I wanted. Instead of suicide, I decided to hit the reset button.  I reevaluated my goals in life. I no longer wanted power and money. I wanted a life worth living, I wanted adventure and I wanted to help people worthy of my help.  If the life your living isn’t worth living…. change it.

With the help of my new girlfriend, I started a new plan. I wrapped up my case load, I collected and sold all of my assets, including the law firm. I sold my car and tuned up the bike. I bought all the equipment I would need for the foreseeable future.  Even better was that my new girlfriend wanted to quit her job as a nurse and wanted to do travel nursing….. We hit the road together, we filmed it all and were planing on continuing to move from place to place around the globe.  My goal now…. Is to ride a motorcycle across all seven continents.  I have completed one so far and have had a blast doing it….. This blog and the youtube channel…. are that story.

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6 thoughts on “Life Has A Reset Button And I Hit It Hard… Again

Add yours

  1. Thank you for sharing. Your quite a guy. It is obvious why Scott thought so highly of you. Your friendship and efforts in his behalf have him much peace in his end days here. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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